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  • Writer's pictureNicholas Pallesen

Let's Talk About "Stakes", Baby...

Updated: Nov 14, 2019

It seems almost every person who works with me is up to something in the world and wants to bring their dreams into reality in various forms: artistic performance, sports, blogging, online products, fitness training, wellness coaching, books, visual art, and much more. But while the idea of creation excites them, they often get scared off from taking action or even the first step because of the "stakes" involved in putting something out into the world.

And I can relate. I can't count how many projects, articles, posts, products, conversations, and opportunities in my life never saw the light of day because I was terrified of the "stakes".⠀ What if people don't like what I create?⠀ What if people don't like ME?⠀ What if I don't get the job?⠀ What if I mess up?⠀ What if it doesn't work out? I was convinced if any of those happened to me, I was screwed. Or even worse, I was failing at life. Because if I was doing life "right", everyone would like me and I'd achieve whatever I wanted, yeah? 🤦‍♂️⠀

Have you ever felt that way? Read on and see if this helps you see something fresh about "stakes"...

Two realizations I had along my path changed everything for me:⠀ 1. "Stakes" are an inside job. Meaning, there are no inherent "stakes" in any circumstance or outcome. You can't even put "stakes" in a wheelbarrow because it's not an actual "thing". It's entirely a creation of thinking that looks real to us. It really looks like our identity and self-worth are at risk if things don't go a certain way, and we call that movie in our mind, "stakes".⠀ But that's never true. Your worth is never on the line. It's a done deal.⠀ 2. It's not personal.⠀

Trying to wrap your head around that one? Let's go back to the questions I asked earlier:

"What if people don't like what I create?" Well, isn't that possible regardless?⠀ "What if people don't like me?" Haven't people been doing that your whole life, and you're still here?⠀ "What if I don't get the job?" That happens sometimes. And then some other opportunity shows up.⠀ "What if I mess up?" Yeah, sometimes we make messes! But you seem to have cleaned up okay!⠀ "What if it doesn't work out?" Some things work out, and some don't, right?⠀

********* See, those don't look like "stakes" to me. They look like reality. ⠀

Those things are ALWAYS a possibility no matter how well OR horribly you show up in any given moment. That's not a personal failing on your part. That's life life-ing! And you seem to have survived so far!⠀ So, have something you've been dying to create? Create! Want to take up space in the world? Take up your space! Want to explore a new path that speaks to your soul? Go explore!⠀ Some things we put out in the world will work, and some won't. Some things go how we want, and some don't. Some people will like and "get" us, and some won't.

But that's not you. That's life. And the Universe has your back regardless. ❤️ ⠀ You've got nothing to lose, friends. So go play! 🙌


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